Lost and Found at Hotel of the Winds

By Nolcha Fox


April 23, 1990

Dear Mrs. Carver,

We are happy to inform you that we found your antique wedding ring under your hotel room bed. It was not in the room two doors down.

In the future, any one of our employees will be more than happy to assist you to your room if you’ve had a little too much to drink. Just let one of us know.

We apologize for any inconvenience you experienced, and are extending you a free stay at any future date you choose.

Regards,

Lost and Found Staff

P.S. We also found your husband and will return him as soon as he recovers from his hangover. 


April 23, 1990

Dear George,

I returned the antique wedding ring you stole from Mrs. Carver last night. Just because she was tipsy and angry at her husband was no reason to take advantage of her. 

If you must exploit women, please do it elsewhere. You are ruining the good name of this hotel and our family. Remember son, I can still disinherit you.

Samuel Dance

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds


May 5, 1990

Dear Susie,

We found your teddy bear. It was buried up to its neck in the sand, and we were able to rescue it before the saltwater waves completely destroyed it. 

Our laundry staff washed off the sand, and your teddy bear is now good as new! You’ll find him in this box, along with a bag of jelly beans.

We hope you and your family will stay with us again.

Thank you very much,

Lost and Found Staff


August 2, 1990

Dear Mr. Carver,

We are privileged to have you as a frequent customer over the years. You are part of our family.

As family, we must be candid with you. Please be more discreet in your affairs at our hotel. We work hard to maintain the high standards of this establishment, and staff and other guests are beginning to complain about you.

We appreciate your cooperation,

Samuel Dance,

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds


August 3, 1990

To Margo Scott:

It has come to our attention that you were seen leaving Mr. Carver’s hotel room at 1:30 yesterday morning with your uniform improperly buttoned and your lipstick smeared. Several employees and guests have seen you entering and leaving Mr. Carver’s room on many occasions.

Your behavior has impacted staff morale, as well as the reputation of this hotel.

As you know, we have a strict policy against fraternizing with our guests. You should also be aware that two infractions of our policies will result in your termination. 

This is your first infraction.

Ms. Scott, we’re certain that this lapse in proper behavior is temporary, and that you will once again be the model employee we originally hired.

Respectfully

Human Resources


January 15, 1991

Dear Mrs. Carver,

Enclosed in this box is your wallet, as well as a gift certificate for a free spa day at our hotel, at any time of your choosing.

We are privileged to have you as a frequent customer over the years, and appreciate you visiting us again. You are part of our family.

As family, we must be very candid with you. The police were kind enough to allow us to return your wallet, rather than keeping it as evidence when they arrested George Dance.

George is an unsavory character, who is known to steal more than women’s hearts. Please verify that you have all your valuables from your recent visit.

Mrs. Carver, you are a fine woman, and worthy of much more than George. We hope that you will put this episode behind you and return to a better life.

Respectfully,

Samuel Dance,

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds

P.S. We found your husband, and will not return him if you prefer.


February 5, 1991

Dear Susie,

One of my employees found your baby brother. He was buried up to his neck in the sand, and she were able to rescue him before he drowned in the incoming tide. Your brother is now in the hospital, and he will come home shortly.

Susie, I’m certain your baby brother hasn’t been around long enough to do anything bad to you, and I hope you can make up with him.

I didn’t tell the police you did this. You are a talented little girl, and you don’t have to grow up to be an awful person like some of the adults at the Hotel of the Winds. I would like you and your parents to come visit me soon so that we can talk. You can all stay at the hotel for free.

Regards,

Samuel Dance

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds


February 6, 1991

Dear Mrs. Carver,

Thank you so much for your kind note.

Unfortunately, tossing Mr. Carver off a cliff is not one of the services we offer.

However, we can offer you a free stay at the hotel, any time of your choosing.

Sincerely,

Lost and Found Staff


March 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Bridges,

I am returning your daughter, Tabitha, to you.

The guest my staff found her with is now in jail. He didn’t realize that she’s a minor.

I am as outraged as you, and as a token of my sympathy, I’m offering you and your family a free stay at the hotel, any time of your choosing.

Sincerely,

Samuel Dance

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds


June 10, 1992

Dear Dr. Bridges,

As a father, I am horrified to hear that your daughter is pregnant. Unfortunately, Mr. Carver is married, so he can’t make an honest woman of her.

I could offer you my son, but he’s an even worse reprobate than Mr. Carver, and would only break your daughter’s heart.

You’ll have to ask the police about using that gun. 

Respectfully,

Samuel Dance

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds


July 4, 1992

Dear Mrs. Carver,

Please accept my condolences. I know the police already let you know that they found your husband at the bottom of a cliff.

I know that you’ve suffered for years, and I hope you find some peace.

Samuel Dance

Owner,

Hotel of the Winds

P.S. It might interest you to know that my son, George, has mysteriously disappeared. I believe he was killed, but the police haven’t found the body yet.


July 8, 1992

Staff Memo:

Margo Scott’s body was found early this morning at the bottom of the deep end of the pool. As you know, the pool had been drained for repairs, something Margo must have forgotten.

While the police were investigating her death, they found a ruby necklace and matching ruby earrings in Margo’s locker. The Lost and Found staff immediately returned these items to the guest.

This was Margo’s second infraction, and Human Resources would have terminated her, had she not taken the initiative to terminate herself. 

Please remember to follow our staff policies so that we can continue to operate as a happy family and give our guests a memorable experience!


July 9, 1992

Dear Susie,

We are so glad that you and your family are visiting, and we hope that you are enjoying yourself. The Hotel of the Winds is a much better place because of you.

Please accept this giant teddy bear and bag of jelly beans as a token of my appreciation.

And remember, you can stay here anytime you want!

Sincerely,

Uncle Samuel

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: